Chuck Norris is my Homeboy
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Chuck Norris is my Homeboy

This is a discussion on Chuck Norris is my Homeboy within the General forums, part of the Caferacer.net Forums category; Ok since we're on the topics of ass-kickin' actors, if you haven't seen these before you HAVE to check them out! They're for real and ...

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  1. #1
    Junior Member bettysurf14's Avatar
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    Chuck Norris is my Homeboy

    Ok since we're on the topics of ass-kickin' actors, if you haven't seen these before you HAVE to check them out! They're for real and Chuck himself is in love with them. Here is the website:

    http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

    Check out the T-Shirts...they're BAD!<img src=icon_smile_blackeye.gif border=0 align=middle>


  2. #2
    Senior Member aaron's Avatar
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    I love the Chuck Norris facts.

    When Chuck Norris was born the amount of round house related deaths was raised 13%

    Aaron


  3. #3
    Moderator joe c's Avatar
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    Chuck Norris likes long walks on the beach, Barry White music, Harlequin romance novels, songbirds, rainbows, and quiet time with his lady…just before he roundhouse kicks her in the face.


    70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

    Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

    While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

    Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.

    The term "Cleveland Steamer" got its name from Chuck Norris, when he took a dump while visiting the Rock and Roll Hall of fame and buried northern Ohio under a glacier of fecal matter.

    and the best one....

    Chuck Norris uses a rattlesnake as a condom.

    now, substitute "JB" for "chuck norris". coincidence, i dont thik so.

    jc






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  5. #4
    paced_haste's Avatar
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    When Chuck Norris falls into water, he doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

    Z


  6. #5
    Moderator jbranson's Avatar
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    Chuck Norris changed his name for show business, his real name is....GOD.

    Chuck Norris and Lance Armstrong had a testicle competition....Chuck Norris won by FIVE.

    JohnnyB


  7. #6
    Junior Member bettysurf14's Avatar
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    Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

    DAMN!!!!! I was gonna try and get some.


  8. #7
    Administrator texmawby's Avatar
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    f davey hassellhoff, i'm on the chuckwagon! prrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

    texy



    "who's scooter is that?"
    "joe clancy's"
    "where's joe clancy?"
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  9. #8
    paced_haste's Avatar
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    Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

    Z


  10. #9
    Senior Member magnetoczar's Avatar
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    For real karate (of the Hollywood martial artists still alive), it's hard to beat Segal. If you are a student of the art, then you see all the neat arm traps and breaks, the ripping strikes (which cause blood clots and kill you two days later (yes Grasshopper, there really are strikes like that), all the neat stuff that is hidden in kata (and kata is where the real karate lives, not in the kick boxing stuff). I like Jet Li also as he incorporates real karate in his fight scenes.

    Film viewers want to see roundhouse and hook kicks, which is soooo boring after awhile. Walker was so predictable, it'd always end with Chuck smacking some deserving fool with the usual kick. All time favorite for me is, of course, Bruce Lee. He was like getting in a bar fight with a Bengal Tiger. Lee was shunned by Hollywood because he was Asian, the final insult when Keith Carradine got the lead in that Kung Fu series, so Lee went back to China to make films. I forget which film was being shot there at the time of the incident (Big Boss, maybe?), but martial artists have big egos and another very skilled martial artists decided to rewrite the script and thus a very real fight was recorded on film that lasted like 10 minutes, the end being that "editor" was almost killed by Lee. The director joyfully got it all in the can but when Lee heard that, he was still so pissed off he went over and ripped all the film out of the camera. Too bad, I'd have loved to have seen that.

    Just for the record, I can't stand Jackie Chan for karate, but I will admit some of the stunts are fun to watch.

    Dgy


  11. #10
    JD
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    Senior Member JD's Avatar
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    Yeah but underneath Chuck's beard there isn't a chin, but another fist.

    JD


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