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I would like to talk about beer. Someone tell me a good story that has to do with beer and puking.
 

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I was dateing a girl that I went to a party with. I told she might want to leave. And she thought I was breaking up with her, and I was just trying to tell her that I didn't want to puke on her. I still have a picture of the results shortly there after. Jeremy is very good about puke oics.

Aaron
 

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those are some funny pics. even funnier is that it was right next to my bed. I was so drunk I just put a towel over it and then my girlfriend and I slept there
 

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one of my best friends ,chris, from h.s. got married a couple of years back. he lives in chicago so we decided it would just be easiest to have his bachelor party the night before the wedding. that way everyone could go. the girls went out that night too. another friend of ours, randy, aka slaysman forge, got so wasted. anyway, randy, myself and another one of my best friends mark decided we probably shouldnt be driving anyplace. so we mooched a ride to the starting point bar. we got there about 30 mins before everyone was scheduled to meet. well, they were running about an hour and a half late. so after several kamikaze's and a few beers, in come's the crew. chris, his father, his brother, and a pile of other people. the drinks are flowin, everyones getting pretty wasted. mark and i are buying round after round for everyone. so we decide to just head to another bar a friend of ours owns in town. its a pretty swank place. really cool and hip. he lets us stick around til 4. well, after all of the regualrs are gone, the bartender breaks out this giant bag of weed and we're all getting stoned and drinking martinis and kamikaze's again. (im a vodka guy). the dj left at 2 and let us take over the turntables. 4 rolls around, and we split. since there are 3 of us with no ride hime, we get into chris' dads car, who chris, his brother, his dad and one other person drove down in. we're all packed into the car. its like a subaru wagon, or toyota corrolla wagon or something like that. maybe an older audi or something. anyway, we're in the back seat of three rows. everyone is drunk, chris's dad is driving and 2 rows of seats away. from drivers to passenger side, its mark, randy, and me. well, randy starts barfin. he takes my hat off of my head (remember that honda redwing hat i had, yeah, i still wore it after he barfed into it, washed of course) and just starts puking into it. the windows are down in the back and hes barfing everywhere. i grab him by the back of the head and im trying to get his face out the window and the barf is just spraying back into the car all over everyone in the back seat. (we're ont he expressway doing about 70) and we're just laughing our asses off. i had so much puke on me i had to take my shirt off in the car. it was everywhere. but the best part was, chris' dad had no idea what was going on. he just heard all of laughing and screaming and punching each other. randy gets home, and his wife has all of the doors to the house locked and she wont let him in. shes teasing him out a slightly opened window. "hey rand, wanna fish milkshake??" mark and i obvioulsy instigated the entire thing so shes mad at us. to some extent. i have no shirt on, and am still covered in barf. randys wife makes him sleep outside and puke on the lawn til the sun comes up, then lets him in. he drags inside and passes out on the kitchen floor. mark puts his head into a giant green garbage bag which he continues to throw up in. but it saves the floor. so the next morning, we pull up to the place the wedding is held at, and randys outside barfing. he composes himself, walks inside and is standing there. barely holding himself up. chris' dad walks in, looks at all of us, and then looks at randy and says, "hey rand, i think you left some salad in the back seat of my car last night if you want it" randy ate 1/2 of a saltine cracker the entire time we were out. everyone was trying to make him barf. he still wont go drinking with mark and i. it was alot of fun though.


i went to a party once and did 4 giant beer bongs in a row. on the way home, around 10pm, i had to be let out of the car because i was barfing out the fly window. i staggered home the last 3 blocks and realized i was locked out of the house. kicked the door in, then proceded to strip my cloths off to my underwear, then passed out on my bed, an hour later i woke up, felt like puking, and wandered into the bathroom and with the light off and door closed played hug the toilet. i remember waking up to seeing my sister standing in the open doorway with her hand on the lightswitch. she said "oh", turned off the light, and reshut the door.

got so drunk from doing oj and vodkas in the beer bong my friends tried to carry me out of the house the party was in. they couldnt get me out of the basement. i passed out with my head in the utility sink. they took pictures of me and tape recorded me barfing.

went to a pool party one night. got totally wasted. went back to the house (randys) my moped was parked at and decided to hop on and ride home. no shoes, no shirt, and a wet bathing suit. no headlight or brake light. tucked the front end in gravel in an alley and shreaded my barefeet. (ever have scabs between your toes??) also fell onto the pipe. burned the crap out of one leg. got home, was locked out again. tried to climb through a window but was too drunk and too hurt to get onto the roof. my sister let me in. i passed out into my bed. the next morning i woke up. almost everything had scabbed. with the sheets stuck to all of the cuts. i had to peel sheets out of scabs. it looked like someone had been masacred in my bed. never ride at night, in gravel, drunk, with no shoes on. bad idea.

and thats just the begining. i lived in an artists building for 5 years. there were nights i couldnt make it up one flight of steps. thank god for elevators!

hows that??

jc
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Nice stories. I approve of everything but the moped. JD and Aaron were nice enough to dress me in a fat girl's clothes one night (underwear on my head, of course) and draw all over my face with markers. They were then nice enough to bring me into a breakfast dive with all this shit on my face (including at least one swastika). Ahhh, the good ol' days.
 

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I love that story cause I always tell you that you met my cousin Kim. And you always say I did.

Aaron
 

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that is one of the funniest memories of the good ol' days

more recently aaron and I were in Dayton Beach. the first night we got there we figured we should hit it hard because, well, it was Daytona. being used to a 1am last call and getting there at 11pm we began to drink fast and heavy at the first strip joint we came to, sharkey's. 1am rolled around and we asked what time last call was, 3am. woohoo, two more hours. by 3am we were both pretty twisted. we had a good half mile walk...in the pouring rain. we worried about the rain a lot more when we were sober. part way home aaron thought he needed a palm frond from a tree on someone's front lawn as a souvenir. then he kept telling me how he was ok to drive. naw, I think that's ok aaron, you're not quite ready to drive. for some reason we started running, maybe the rain, I don't know. well aaron was dragging the palm frond behind him and to me it just seemed like too big a target to not step on and rip from his hand. what a fine idea. wham. boy those palm's have sharp edges. aaron was now bleeding and mad. by the time we got to the van aaron was in bad shape as soon as he opened to door he started ralphing in the parking lot. after a few minutes of this he looked at me with a smile and said "I can drive now!" guess you had to be there but damn it was funny
 

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I don't have any particularly great ones, I guess. But a couple that stand out would be the time Mark (you guys know him) were driving home late night in a full on blizzard. Being a really smart guy, I gave my keys to him because I was wasted. He was more wasted than me but, hey, ay least I wasn't getting the OUI. Well, he said something to me that annoyed me so, I reached over shut the car off and pulled the keys out of the ignition. Only real problem with that is that we were doing 35 down a residential street in a blizzard. The car locked up and we slid up onto someone's front yard. Not pretty. Fuckin' funny, though.
Another pretty funny night was when I went to some party and some dude was there whose ex-girlfriend I recently started dating. He was pretty wasted and made it pretty obvious that he wanted to fight. Instead of fighting him, every time I was near him at the party I started singing really loudly: "I don't mind the sun sometimes, the images it ..." I don't remember the words, but it was some cool song on the radio at the time. I don't think he thought it was as funny as I did.
Travis almost knocking Aaron's Jawa over then talking about later as if it really happened is pretty funny, too.



Edited by - Donald on Jan 16 2004 4:14:14 PM
 

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how bout this one?
Kid bet me 20 bucks i couldnt drink a 40 in under a minute.
55 seconds... I was 20 bucks richer.
used the money to buy another case of 40s

-My other ride is your mom
 

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i had far fewer deliriums last wednesday than i recall. maybe it was the 2 bean burritos that disagreed with the situation.

the next day was not enjoyable.
 

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Jeremy & Aaron-
haha the daytona story was funny. You guys were pretty wasted too when you found me at Molly's. I felt terrible that you got up so early the next day for the races and then drove back up north after only afew hours sleep. I was hungover that day too and the rain was bad. thank goodness you had an extra poncho!
I will be in daytona on Feb 26-29. Are you coming down this year?
Sharon
ps i never went back to work at MB's. hahahahahaha

ready for a ride
 

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wow, the ghost of daytona past!

yeah, the ride home sucked. going through nyc at 4am, aaron looks over at me driving and yells 'what are you doing!?'. guess I was sleeping. then he took over driving and 'says, yeah as long as I'm eating I'll be fine' so I thought I would get some sleep. by eating he must have meant turning the radio all the way up and rolling the window all the way down in march. I didn't get much sleep.

we're planning on getting there saturday night. why didn't you go back? you are totally molly's material.
 

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WOOO HOOO
let's try to rock Sat night. I'll have to leave the next day but I'd love to see yall before i go.
no i never went back to MB's because i was working for the chinese store at the same time and the exhaustion hit me that day. Plus all those creepy old men who would slobber and leer over girls their daughter's age. ew.
you guys won't recognize me- i gained so much weight. but i started a new online career- check out the link.
http://www.queenadrena.com/bigwomen.htm
it's a good way to suppliment my income. oh hey jeremy i got my little clothing store open in september. it's been fun. how's your house?
sharon

ready for a ride
 

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aaron will remember this one...
a friend's crazy girlfriend slamming her beer down in front of him at Amigo's....she takes off, but everyone thinks she's in the bathroom - when they FINALLY realize she's left, they form a search party, go bar to bar and hours later find her...phew!
 

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"she" was a little drunk, ran into some friends, went to a few bars and finally made it back to her vehicle where they were anxiously waiting...she is a little directionally challenged and was not familiar with the area...they thought she was either lost or dead.
 

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Just another thing I miss about you, Donald...your humor! You're almost as funny as another crazy guy I know (but not quite...). hi! :)
 

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hi hi hi hi hi hi hi

I miss you too Don. what I miss most is how sexy you are. that picture of you in your profile is really hot!

li li li li li li li li li li....mother fuckin li

directionally challenged is putting it mildly <img src=icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle> yes we were all a little worried, well at least I was. don and aaron said to just leave you.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Real cool.

Oh, by the way: I hate you both for inserting those fucking stupid little faces into your posts.

Edited by - Donald on Feb 06 2004 1:12:53 PM
 
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