We used to have a guy come into the shop who was a little slow but came up with a classic quote. I showed him a local magazine/newsletter that cost $1.50 and he wasn't going to buy it.
"Why not, it's a buck fifty"
He thought for a minute and said
"If I bought everything that costs $1.50 I'd have no money and a house full of stuff that costs $1.50"
I always thought that would be great on a tshirt.
"22 tons of ANYTHING for $285 is cheap" works too