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that is a good one! heard one this morning...

what do women and frying pans have in common?
you've got to warm 'em up before you slap the meat in
 

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected a
Quart of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of
romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out,
a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front
of the cashier. He said, "You must be single." The woman, a bit startled but intrigued by the derelict's intuition, looked at her six items on the belt.
Seeing nothing particularly unusual about her selections she said,
"Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth
did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "'Cause you're ugly"
 

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My buddy's wife is so ugly, that he brings her to work so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

Your momma is so fat she sweats gravy.

Your momma is so fat her blood type is Reigu Extra Chunky

ok, one more, its a oldy but a good one

Your momma's teeth are so yellow that when she yawns traffic slows down.
 
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