New USCRA Class

In case you weren't privy to this SKULLS line posting:

NEW USCRA CHOPPER CLASS

The following rules proposal will be submitted to the rules committee
for consideration for the 2007 racing year. I highly encourage the
rules committee to consider this class as this is a vintage club and
this class is part and parcel of our heritage.

Chopper Class:

Class limited to 1972, riders limited to 1950.

Unlimited engine size/ 2 point penalty for vertical split cases <as in
Honda 750> / 25 point bonus for small block Chevy placed sideways in
frame(as in 265, 283, or 327), an additional 15 points for Hilborn Fuel Injection.

All machines in this class will have at least a 6 inch extension on
front forks, or 12 inches using PSM <penus-inches standard measurement>.

All machines must be equipped with sissie bar big enough to hold a
sleeping bag which must be attached during all endurance races.

All machines must be safety wired (read bailer wired) around exhaust
pipes, fenders, and anything else that the builder is just too damn
lazy to make an actual clamp/bracket for.

Rear brakes will be no larger than 6 inches in diameter or wider than
1 inch< 2 inches PSM >. Front brakes, FK that! We don't need no
steenkin' front brakes; but if you do it has to be one of those
chromed 4 inch single leading 1/2 inch wide deals.

Wheels must be 16 inch on back (32 inch PSM), and whatever you want on
front as long as it's equipped with a ribbed tire that has the
consistency of plastic. Back tires should be square in shape and
harder than week old bagels. 1 point bonus for 3 inch whitewalls <6
inch PSM>. 1 point bonus for 6 spoke early mag's that weighed like 55
pounds.

Handlebars must keep riders armpits cool on hot days. 2 point bonus
if all spectators move to the top 3 rows of the stands on T2 after 1
lap, 5 points if someone hurls.

Oil leakage: Last race of the meet, so who gives a good shit.

Decibal limit. 150db mandatory minimum at 1500 rpm; like I said, last
race of the meet.

2 point bonus for using a Joe Hunt Mag'. 12 points for any Sporty with
a mag that you can actually kickstart! 16 points (Pete T.) if a
tongue of fire shoots out of the carb' when kick-starting, and then
shoots back inside as the engine actually starts!

1 point bonus for floor-boards, 2 points if they're half gone after the race.

Riders are encouraged to be period correct with dress and manner; this
to include but not limited to the following: "Schnell 1942" rated
German WW2 helmets, 2 point bonus for chrome!, cut-off Levi vests
complete with urine stains ("Dude, you shouldn'd have passed out
first"), ripped blue jeans with shit stains, primary chain pants belts but limited to double row, and of course those wonderful "engineer" boots.

Please feel free at anytime during the race to flip off your fellow
competitors, the crowd, or the ambulance crew. 12 point bonus if
you're drunk twice over the legal limit and make the podium. 24 point
bonus if you do it on acid. All riders will be riding "combat".

Tandem 5 point bonus for bitch on the back during race, 15 point bonus
if she has an awesome rack, 25 point bonus if she's combat with a
short skirt on, 50 points if someone hurls when you go by.

A pickup with two ******** will circulate the course in a beatup 53'
Dodge pickup during the entire course of the race, equipped with a
double barreled shotgun loaded with rock salt,and shoot anybody who
flips them off or has a Captain America helmet on. 100 points if they
miss you.

20 bonus points if you actually HAVE 6 inches.

Any riders who's girlfriend pulls a SKULLS 'train', won't get any
extra points, but will receive all of us old guys eternal gratitude.

For your consideration, (any thoughts here before I send this in?)

HEADSKULL