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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Hello kiddies. How goes it? Happy glen of the mid lower of FNQ here to help youse all out.

The following is a bit graphic but i'm sure you'll all tough it out.

this is a quick rundown on don'ts. Perform the opposites of these and you're halfway there. Step 1:



do you like candlelit dinners with raw food, performing abundant foreplay when you're too pissed to get it up, reading half a book and using the end pages as dunny paper, or (touchy subject round here) pointlessly tackling a task that you either can't or won't put in the effort to finish? I hope not.

Some arsehat let some hippy begin working on his bike that was then sold to a mate i'm tinkering for. Arsehat parked behemoth up and left it sit 8 years. Hippy made "a start" on rejuvenating by removing airbox lid and leaving it on the battery. For how long i don't know but thats as far as he got. Mate got bike as a gift (with presents like this, who needs syphilis?) and has wrangled me to get it rideable. 95 vf750c soft chopper poofmobile with the late vfr donk i think.




this is some of the shit that was in there. Much more to deal with later, and lumpy sized lumps of foreign matter in the carb throats and sitting on circuitry vents below ram tubes. A lid, that is not on its jar being a lid doesn't actually do any lidding. If you pull an item, put it back. Particularly things that letteth into or exiteth out of stuff that should or shouldn't be external. There are two tensions for a sump plug: firm, or firm because you put it back in. Theres a third setting thats a non-tension where you wipe it clean while waiting the oil to drain and put it and your car keys in the fridge on top or your beer and the oil behind it. If oil does not fit, you should buy a proper beer fridge you nancy boy. If you grab a beer after you've finished and hear more than the rattle of your keys falling off, put the beer back, refit the sump plug, tension till firm, retrieve and replenish oil, then, grab your beer.









how did all this start? See that stuff coming out of the drain screw? It's not meant to be green. The fuel in the tank is still yellow but theres no fucken brass jets in it to produce verdigris. The throttle shafts were stuck shut, EVERY jet was clogged with varnish and the shit that came out smelt awful and had the consistency of buggered ancient brakefluid whilst looking like antifreeze. Arsehat left the ignition on (bad. Worse if you've got points ignition) and flattened the battery. Didn't start next time he tried so thats where it stayed.

if you have a motor you aren't going to use for a fair while, through laziness or planning, get it running and make sure it does pre retiring. Shut off the tap, run till it lean stumbles and then pop the drain screws. If carbs had sat dry the airbox lid need never have moved. If battery had been charged, or at least not stupidly discharged, carbs need never have been drained. If wishes were unicorns, then beggar hipsters could practice faux handjobs.

in summary: don't be an arsehat. Follow that and you can even avoid hippies.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Same mate, different bike, different hippy:



these are as i removed them. Shouldn't take any of you long to tell me "what's wrong with this picture?". Carb bank is from a Z900 kwakisak thats had a full freshen of the internals but wouldn't run right. Someone care to hazard why?
 

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these are as i removed them. Shouldn't take any of you long to tell me "what's wrong with this picture?". Carb bank is from a Z900 kwakisak thats had a full freshen of the internals but wouldn't run right. Someone care to hazard why?
HA!!!! I have seen that before from hipster projects I have bought - One fuel line into the feed, the other into a vacuum line.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Bowl vent kezza. I'll be checking the engine oil before i even bother to slip the carb bank back in. I am still however fucking stupefied and rocking back and forth in the foetal position.
 

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I'm getting better, I only had to look up one word (couldn't remember what verdigris meant) and shame on me cause that's not even Ausi slang and run my boat in salt water. Perhaps for the uninitiated, there should be some sort of translate this page button.

BTW what do you do for a living? Those finger prints are awesome! I had to get a fingerprint scan done for the US CBA, and they couldn't lift a decent set cause they were worn off. Got a funny look from the agent.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
My jobtitle is drunk white-nectarine consuming golfer with intent to nap.

the pay's shit, but i'm always welcoming of new investors. Shall i put you down for a kilo or a single malt?
 

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My jobtitle is drunk white-nectarine consuming golfer with intent to nap.

the pay's shit, but i'm always welcoming of new investors. Shall i put you down for a kilo or a single malt?
No way I could bring myself to part with the single malt, but there is a surplus of BC bud around here. Be forewarned its frightening stuff. You could shit yourself and not even know it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Screwed em back on yesterday.





made em just a teensy bit cleaner first. Cleaned airbox and filter and refitted best i could (hippy or arsehat seems to have misplaced the fitting screws) and its all sealed and running again.
 
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